Yes, it's true. Bridegirl is now a Mrs. And Future Son-in-Law is now Son-in-Law. It was perhaps the most expansive experience of this whole expansive summer. It broadened my understanding of Love and Sacrament, moving way beyond the couple standing in front of the priest. I kept telling BG not to worry, that it wasn't really about her. I sort of believed myself, but not like I do now. As my friend, MM, said (as he orchestrated rehearsal dinner, altar guild, silver for reception, blah, blah, blah, he did it!), "We did a wedding. We didn't have one done to us."
And the operative word there is "we". So many lovely people, so many wonderful gifts.
Let's see...just a FEW HIGHLIGHTS...
GIRL PARTY arranged by BBG and DIL where girls from throughout BG's life performed?? songs from the period. If you are savvy enough, you can probably find the video out there. I look like the insane asylum patient singing a frantic lullaby to her. But her friends are really cute.
Meanwhile the boys caramelized onions to be used for the reception food.
FRIDAY MORNING--off to FarmerBoy's farm to harvest vegies for reception and flowers for bouquets and tables.Yes, FB and DIL were the force behind the reception. All local. Much grown by their own good selves.
NEXT--lovely bridesmaids' luncheon hosted by my two Favorite Sisters in all the world. (From Jahhckson, of course!)
THEN--to the flower sacristy with the bridesmaids to make our bouquets. Such delightful , giddy, FUN energy in that room. LOTS of estrogen!! I was able to incorporate (with the help of the Flower Queen) some of the roses from BG's childhood friend's grandfather's garden. And they were the real deal. Smelled like heaven.( I know that was a lot of possessives to follow, but that is my point. This sacrament--outward and visible sign , you know,---just kept spreading its fingers further and further out. Amazing!!) Also, Number One Flower Assistant ?? Aside from being my oldest dearest friend here and beyond, bridging those two great states, AR and MS, she was also the force behind the making of BG's May Day wreaths way back in 4th grade. Amazing again!
ON TO Rehearsal and Dinner. Zipper did break on BG's dress as we were getting ready to go. Never mind! BBG has a hundred to choose from. Ripped through closets, left a maelstrom of shoes and dresses, but, hey. We weren't even late. I don't think. Can't quite remember. Dinner was lovely, outside, perfect night, best bartenders in the world, local fare by the Root Cafe. Lovely, moving words spoken by beautiful friends.
And I'll say it again--orchestrated by MM. As he said, "You and I will put on some grand affairs in the nursing home."
SATURDAY MORNING-- I felt like a character in The Great Gatsby. Gorgeous weather , delectable brunch in the backyard of our dear friends. I guess they'll be named DF in blogland. Certainly applies. It was a Gift. Singlehandedly they hosted a party for the masses. We were well fed, well attended. And all of the myriad out of towners who came to witness and support were there. Amazing.
SATURDAY AFTERNOON- BG and friend go to get hair done while I (yikes!) press the dress.
Another friend calls out of the blue--"Anything you need?" "Yes! Come get this credit card and veil and take it to BG!" All cars were out and about, and BG had just called me. Multi-friend tasking.
SPEAKING OF the dress...it was a 90's rescue. We cut out the shoulders, took off the GIANT flowers and bows, cut out an entire section of the skirt, (thanks to my Favorite Seamstress for then putting it all back together!). And then the Flower Fairy helped me make those beautiful little rosettes that were the new shoulders. More magic.
AND THEN IT'S TIME... we gather for pictures, BBG entertains, we giggle and laugh, we do wall pushups, we sing Disney songs...and then we go to the bell tower. I peek in. The most gorgeous altar flowers ever--a gift from the Flower Queen.They incorporate some of FarmerBoy's zinnias and basil.The music--another gift, this one from...ok. He has to be called Sugar Daddy. But get your mind out of the gutter. He insisted that BG needed music fit for a queen. And he provided it. Strings, a trumpet, the organ and the most wonderfully genuine, talented, sincere, and lovely children's choir. AND--I got to process to Queen of Sheba. How appropriate.
The church is full of so many pieces of us. So much of our past, linked together now with the past of another.Because, yes, SIL's people are here as well. Certainly not as many--Cali is a long way away. His grandparents are sorely missed, but we know they are with us. His mother and sister are here. And then there is his Dad's family. They certainly get the travel prize. 3 from New Zealand, one from SC, one from Cali.
And while this was our first meeting, we hit the ground running. We all worked together...maybe a little more than we intended to, but..we will never forget it.
I can't describe the wedding. I might try later.
AND THE RECEPTION...PH's custom chandelier, St Michael's plates and tables, my mama's and my grandmama's silver, MM's silver, delicious local fare pulled together by FB, DIL and their army, (my mama's pimiento cheese, homemade biscuits made by DIL and FB, homemeade jams from the local jam queen, Beth Retzloff, it goes on and on.) Too many things to say, but one favorite image. A picture taken by my brother as we encircled the bride and groom and blessed them in confetti. Confetti made by BG, SIL and their cadre. It was punched out of the wrapping paper from wedding gifts received (and some old maps found in Grandmama and Grandaddy's attic). Things a mama ponders in her heart.
SUNDAY MORNING---La D has brought the party to Arkansas. She has toted quiche upon quiche and muffin upon muffin from the Great State of Mississippi to the Great State of Arkansas. (She also made the Amazing tomato sandwiches for the reception. We left for pics on Saturday and she set to slicin'.) A tired but happy crowd gathered on our back porch to relish a little bit more.
BUT WAIT. There's more. Instead of renting plates, it was my great idea to use St Michael's plates and hire a friend to wash them. Well, he washed a whole lotta dishes . And then his back went out. So on Sunday Bride and Groom (and all of us related to ) washed dishes. We told those new Zealanders and Californians it was a Southern Tradition. We most certainly knew each other by the end of the day. Red beans and rice made by the King of All Things Kitchen on my back porch. No words. Magic.Amazing.
AND THEN!!! I promise. This is it. Most of you know I am a student of Family Systems. And a cardinal rule of FS is that whenever there is a big Change in the system, the System will do all in its power to keep everything the same. Maintain the status quo. So I had warned BG. Look out for acting out. We joked about their cat. Malarkey (my name for him) would likely be the one to act out.
BUT I WAS WRONG. I get the prize for biggest Post Wedding Acting Out. A week and two days after the wedding I fell down the stairs , broke some ribs, spent 3 days in the hospital with a collapsed lung.
LIKE I SAID... My daughter got married. It literally took my breath away. Amazing!
